Would you Like an Egg??

Today I had the happy occasion of receiving this email:

Dear Member,

During this holiday season, we want to thank you for your membership. Especially during these difficult economic times, we appreciate more than ever your commitment to the New York City Bar Association, and we are striving to increase our efforts to serve our members. Our broad range of programs and services will be featured in the January 2009 issue of 44th Street Notes.

Our dedication to our members is matched by our commitment to all those affected by the economic downturn. The poor will need greater access to legal services, and the City Bar Justice Center will need to increase its ability to provide those services. Our programs, which range from foreclosure to immigration, can be viewed in our Justice Center Annual Report.

We are so grateful to everyone who has already made a contribution to support the Justice Center's pro bono work. Please join us by making a contribution to sustain these efforts. You may donate online or by mail.

With continued best wishes for you and your family during the holiday season and the New Year.

Sincerely,



Patricia, Association of the Bar of the City of New York
42 West 44th Street, New York, NY 10036




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***My Response****

Dear Patricia,

Wow, you are barking up the wrong tree and I am going to have to kindly ask you to go kill yourself. Why, it was just this morning that I made an appearance at a temp agency and they asked me if I preferred document review over contract analysis at which point I started crying because I realized that my career options are just that simple, if at all. I replied that I preferred neither, but since I am so bloody poor that I can not even afford a microwave, I am kind of not in the position to be picky.

Oh no, Patricia, the dean of garbage learned this the hard way, my economic crisis has nothing to do with the grander economic crisis. In fact, if possible, I am slightly relieved by this crisis because at least I can say at this point that garbigities are not the only unemployable "attorneys" sifting through the job market. It is kind of like when I learned that I was not the only middle aged 27 yr. old soon to be 28 yr. old spinster who often ponders whether or not it is best to drink three bottles of wine on Monday nights because Gossip Girl is on.

My point is, Patricia, that I am most certainly not making a donation to the Associate of the Bar of the City of New York this year or ever. I am kind of like one of your pro bono cases that your association should be helping as I sometimes do for the homeless associated with New York City Cares (okay, it has not happened yet, but I will do it, soonish) by finding clothes for them at the salvation army and prepping them for their various interviews.

YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS THE MOST PATRICIA?!?!?! While some people are happy about the upcoming holidays as they get days off from work, I dread it. You heard me. Because I get paid by the hour, when I get hit with a New Years Day and Christmas I make like 300 dollars that month. That is not enough to buy my provisions from the super market (local liquor store) to drown my sorrows away let alone make a donation to your association. I say yours, because it is certainly not mine. I do not associate with it at all.

Sincerely,

Shut the F*ck Up