Far East of M&M's

As some of you might recall, M&M sometimes ask me to "their friends'" various homes for dinner. Because I know M&M have no friends except for each other, I generally am right to believe that this is a set up. Why, just last April as referred to in my post "Is Elijah Single" I was lucky enough to arrive at such a happy occasion.

You can imagine how ridiculously annoyed I was when last Sunday M squared called me and spoke in non sequitor about how I simply just must appear at their friend's Wu Lung's house for dinner next week. Now, do not get me wrong, I am no stranger to the Asian persuasion. I have many Asian friends, well that is a lie. I have one, but she has has explained to me that it is not my fault that I do not have any Asian friends as they tend to stick together. (CHALLAH BEAR you just got a shout out). Needless to say, M&M do not have Chinese friends. No, M&M do not even have Jewish friends so how in God's name am I supposed to believe that M&M just happened to have convinced Wu Lang that a) they were friends and b) that we should all be invited over for dinner (Mr. & Mrs. Atticus Finch included no less). WELL, I thought it might be that Wu Lang was a Chinese version of M and saw the importance of me finding a suitor and had one in mind. I was wrong. My apologies.

As it turns out Wu Lang did just want to have us all over for a traditional Chinese dinner and it was very nice of her to extend her hospitality. How could I be so bloody selfish as to kid with Mr. & Mrs. Atticus Finch that I will have the number 43: Last Standing Single Chinese Boy is Forced to Date Last Standing Single Jew Middle Aged Woman. No, there were no such plans in mind.

The joke really was on M. Boy oh boy, M was not prepared for this. As some of you are aware, M does not eat anything and only drinks coffee. As far back as I can remember, I have yet to see M eat a meal. While I am slender, M makes me look obese. Unfortunate for M, this family did not serve any coffee until after the meal and she had to pass up on a dumpling on account of the calories and just wait for the coffee while everyone ate. Do not worry, M chatted with various strangers around the table to occupy her time. Mainly, about her former cigarette addiction and how she anticipated that the home which is literally five minutes away from M&M's home would be decorated in traditional Chinese, as opposed to English decor. After dinner, M asked that I bring the family cat that I was playing with to the dinner table which she proceeded to practically strangle as poor Figaro hissed and growled at her. Dear Dear.

Regardless, this was all in all a happy occasion. And as I drifted into a wine coma on the car ride home it occurred to me that M&M are in fact capable of having friends which made me sort of happy. After all, who was I to judge if Lu Wang could tolerate their conversation??? Then, I realized she does not as she only partially speaks English.