today i was reminded why i tend to not go outside on saturdays and sundays, especially sundays, after having a feast with E at Houston's. I should have known better, this place is definitely kid friendly with their free refills and everything else they have to offer (their burgers are amazing.)
i decided i hate, no want them dead type of thing, children. i often wondered why humans did not come out of the womb as teenagers and instead are malfunctioning screaming retards for the first 8 yrs of their lives. i could not so much as tell E about my thirty new years' resolutions without some child banging on a dish and screaming bloody murder. It was at this point that I decided that my new years' resolution is to match every child's scream/cry with my own (i also made the decision to take a xanax to calm my nerves). believe you me, i am loud and would like to disturb other adults while they are trying to enjoy a drunken brunch. my major question is what in God's name are they always screaming about???? I am middle aged, single and my parental units have entirely given up on me. They have years until they reach my point and while I suspect that if I had a child I would shake until it is dead, their parents stroll them around and wipe their asses as if they deserve it. not to mention all of their parents think they are genuises despite all evidence to the contrary. they can not even connect a spoon with their mouths. my parents think i suffer from mild retardation and i am fully capable of feeding myself, quite a bit in fact, and make coherent sentences.
that is why, due to pure frustration, i pushed one out of the way to get to the bathroom and then called an exterminator.
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