OH THIS IS SO WORTH THE FREE PIZZA

Today, I was alerted by co-counsel to the following posting on craig's list:

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Entry Level Associate (Central Nassau)
Reply to: job-968920747@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-24, 1:11PM EST



Hi All - I thought that with the holidays approaching it was worth spending an additional posting fee to allay the collective anxiety out there.

The position that we posted on December 10, 2008 is still available. For details of that position, please see the original posting. If you sent a resume, it is unnecessary to send another. We've been a bit overwhelmed by the response, and the holidays sought of crept up on us, so we'll begin interviewing in the new year. I will say that overall I've been impressed with the creative cover letters and the excellent resumes. In any event, we haven't contacted anyone yet, so don't be alarmed by our silence. Enjoy the holidays. Relax with family and friends, remember what is important. Next year will be better. Now I do need to say, if we do not call you in, please understand that it is not a reflection on you, we're a small firm and we only have one opening. I've received resumes from at least thirty five attorneys (and a few soon to be attorneys) that I would interview and hire in a heart beat, if I only had the time and the openings. Stay upbeat.

I do have a few additional things to add, so bear with me.

To the one anti - semite who thought somehow, that religion had anything to do with the salary we were offering - F*ck off - It is my Christmas wish that you remain unemployed forever, and that the closest you come to a legal job is selling Blumberg forms in a Staples. There is no place in this profession for people like you. I will add, that if you have a thing against Jewish Attorneys, perhaps you should consider practicing somewhere other than New York.

To the one law student - Peter - who thought it necessary to defend law students everywhere. Yes, I understand that law students leave school with loans. I think I understand that better than you. I just finished paying mine off this year. With that said, eleven thousand new New York Lawyers were minted last year. Another 11,000 are on their way. Except for the those that secure plum openings at the big firms, I fear paying those student loans for many is going to be a problem. Absent an excellent foundation in the practice of law, many will never be able to do so. Doctors (who for the most part have bigger loans) undergo intense internships at low pay, where they translate what they learned in medical school into an ability to practice medicine. Lawyers have for the most part have never had to serve an internship, but in reality, the first two to three years are an internship. The salary we are offering reflects accurately what we can pay, after factoring in the rates we can charge for a junior attorney, the value that an untrained attorney brings to our practice, the amount of time my partners and I will lose training and reworking their work, the amount of time we write off , and secretarial costs, office costs, malpractice insurance costs, coffee and Friday Pizza. After a year or two, the attorney we hire, will be know how to practice law (and will have eaten a lot of free pizza). What I didn't mention is that two of my partners, started with me as associates - Both had big firm experience - but were willing to start over with a low base salary in order to learn how to practice law. They became invaluable to me and the firm's clients and they make a lot more money now. There is hope. While your email was pleasant, it reflected a real naivete about the industry in general, and I think you need to take a hard look at the practice of law in the 21st century. Contrary to your projections I did not receive resumes from a handful of students at the bottom of the classes from fourth tier law schools. I received resumes from Fordham Grads, Georgetown Grads, Berkeley Grad, Boston U and Boston College, Lots from St Johns, Brooklyn and New York. There were resumes from people let go at Big firms, and others from attorneys who've been out a few years whose practices have yet to take off. I received great resumes from people looking to get back into the profession. Your forecast was completely wrong.

OK, I'm finished ranting. If there is any one out there who would still like to be considered, send a resume. If you sent one, I have it, so don't send another. We will be interviewing in early January. Happy Holidays. Hang in. Times will get better.

Location: Central Nassau
Compensation: 36 - 42k
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 968920747
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I am not going to point out the obvious, free pizza is definitely worth the trip for a former Sullivan Cromwell attorney to go to Central Nassau. I have pretty much resigned myself to believe that I would do anything for a slice of pizza short of, well, sharing it. In fact, I am fairly certain that not only are graduates from Fordham, Georgetown, Harvard, Yale and G*D considering this position for a free slice of pizza in light of the terrible economy, but I was just on the phone with a member of the newly appointed Obama administration, and he told me that he will be working part time out of this office in Central Nassau for the free pizza.

I completely understand where this schmuck is coming from (Please note, I am employing the use of a Yiddish slight to point out that this blogger surely is not anti-semitic). When I started at my first toilet, I was compensated at the high rate of $40k in Manhattan no less. When I told Atticus Finch about this salary, former Fordham graduate who clearly passed up an offer to work at a small firm in Central Nassau at a rate of $43k to work at a small firm in Manhattan for $90k despite the Nassau's further compensation of free donuts every morning (silly bastard), he asked why they did not cap it at $35k given the fact that first year associates are akin to medical interns.

Funny, schmuck sewer head (SSH) mentions medical interns as a comparison to first year associates who work at firms in Central Nassua at a starting salary of $35k. I am sure you would feel confident in allowing your child to be administered anesthesia by a medical intern who failed their MCATs. Yes, SSH despite your tactic of lying to applicants that you have received resumes from various first tier law school graduates, no one is fooled. The economy is bad, but it is not ever that bad for those who are qualified and managed to get the bear minimum on their LSATs by filling out their names on the scantron.

WhAT is WRONG With you SSH? Sure, I get it, training a new associate is hard even if they are smart. But if you are going to post that your starting salary is $35k, do not defend your position, just throw in that you will also supply a free soft drink with every pizza. SIGN ME THE F*CK UP.

Okay, I am finished ranting.