Gee, I wonder Why We Are All Bloody Single?

Since I have not been searching for a job, I have been searching for a roommate. Some of you might know this, but my roommate of five years, E, has finally decided to get herself a studio. Well good for bloody her, I certainly am not. For, undeniably I need a roommate to babysit me. It was just this past weekend at my college reunion that I left my credit card at the bookstore because E was not there to remind me to ask for it back. Quite frankly, I am used to being "broken up with" by not really significant others. Why it was just three days before E announced her planned departure someone told me that having sex is a very friendly thing to do and does not see any reason why I would think otherwise. With respect to E, however, I have done nothing wrong. I did not put out too early, I did not ask to sleep with one of her friends and or have a threesome, I did not even get really drunk and by accident grab her crotch. Ultimately, I have been good to E and while I do profess my love for her an unusual amount of times per day, it is just because I have really strong feelings for her.

Well fine. This quest is by and large been a lot better than searching for a job. For the most part, every time I see a 20 something yr old looking for a roommate I get excited that this will lead to in the case of a female, a drinking buddy, or in the case of a male, a "cuddle" buddy and drinking buddy after a long day at the office. This has been all going fine and dandy until I came across this ad:

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free room for a beautiful brainy submissive (SoHo)


Pay no rent in return for taking care of a wide range of responsibilities around the house. ideally im seeking a student of artist with a decent amount of flex time. serious inquiries only and you must send a pic and details about yourself in the first email or no reply.

Attraction and chemistry between us is essential.

Very handsome SWM here. You must be 18 to 30 with a sharp mind, organized, stylish, obedient.

You will be living in a fabulous neighborhood, nice apartment and be granted plenty of freedom to carry on your normal life as long as you attend well to your duties.

(P.S. See the ad at http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/roo/702263994.html to get a view of the rather suggestive of picture on the bottom)

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It is true, that if I was a bit more confident, I would probably respond to this ad. I mean quite frankly this would solve a lot of my problems. While I would still have the ability to be single, I would probably no longer have random trysts and I might very well just become a full time literary agent if I do not have to worry about living expenses. That being said, if said handsome man is posting a craig's list ad to find a f*ck buddy in the city of Manhattan where there are more desperate 20 something year old women than there are Starbucks, the question becomes who is the man behind this ad and can I do the same thing?

So, I too am going to post an ad that reads like this:

"Very funny slender pale red head looking for a boyfriend/husband/f*ck buddy to share one bedroom. Male must be at least 6'1 and make more money than God. Has to at least feign that it matters whether or I live or die and be open to the possibility of getting a puppy. Must tolerate drinking, smoking and anything else I chose to consume in the apartment. Sometimes has to go with me to events where it is not okay to be single."