Rude Awakening

Well, well, well after four days of searching for an apt/roomie and finally stumbling upon success with two ladies in or around my current address, it has come to my attention that there are just not that many mes out there. The first group of ladies did not hide their disgust with me the slightest when I told them that I would not be having my non existent boyfriend stay on their couch because he does not exist. When they asked me how long it is since I have been in a relationship and I said twenty seven years because while I was in my mother's womb I felt very connected to M they were not remotely amused. Well, quite frankly, neither was I. I was not remotely amused when multiple mates had warned me that they never came home later than one AM or brought home visitors or walked around naked. I was also not remotely amused to be walking around in the schorching heat and climbing several walk ups only to find that some weird earthy types had no air conditioning.

Regardless, next time I post an ad on craig's I have decided that this is the way the I am going to post:

Slightly slutty female looking to bond with other twenty somethings over wine, sex or cigarettes. Does not plan on cleaning, not even an iota, will never use the kitchen and only sometimes shower. Will try not to smoke in the apartment or your bedroom, but cant make any promises. Also, most likely will invest in a puppy, kitten and/or midget.