I KNOW

My apologies, my readership, but I am back. Better late than never. Truth be told, I was a bit hesitant blogging about my unsuccess when I am supposed to not consider making less money than I did as a temp success. Regardless, here. I. am.

Let me preface this by saying that this is by and large the best legal experience I have ever had. We all know this does not say much, for if someone were to put me at the closest one train stop and my job was to ensure that no one shared their metro card with someone else, as yes it is illegal, this would exceed all legal jobs I have ever had. In fact, I might not even have reason to blog.

That being said, this job is surely a winner. Garbage cans, I surely have discovered a hidden gem. It only took me a week and a half to adjust to this supermarket wherein there is no direct deposit set up because it is just that ghetto and they forget to pay you on some occasions. Why, just last Friday, I went to ask our "office manager" where my pay check was (we retrieve it from her desk every Friday after handing in our billing) and she apologized to me, or Christine, as that is what she calls me (not my name), but the head partner had forgotten to pay me. All was resolved within four hours, but she told me that next time I should remind him that I work here. This event proceeded the hour when us garbage cans (yes very eco friendly this place) were stuck outside near the freight elevator which is adjacent to two dumpsters. The reason for this bind was there is only one working elevator in the building and it was out of service. The freight elevator does in fact work at all times, but will not necessarily open to the floor where I am so comfortably litigating.

This is all very lovely, but here is a major gripe. When I first interviewed at the firm, one of the head partners told me there is something in the water (which I suspected was a toxin related to a pipe explosion), that makes all of the women in the firm get pregnant in or around the same time. This did not bother me in the slightest as, well, I figure if I am not pregnant by now, I must be infertile. When I told M&M this, they told me I surely should not worry because no one is taking to me bed as I am a spinster. Little do they know that this past month has been filled with slutatious behavior in celebration of employment, but fine. Because according to M&M I never will have the opportunity to be pregnant I took it upon myself to have a thorough discussion today in the bathroom stalls with one of the baby's mamas ("support staff") regarding their experience. She explained to me that "the problem with this f*ckin kid is it's sittin' on my bladda making me have to piss all da' time which is why you see me in here so often." I said that did not sound so bad and decided I want one.