Whack It

Im going on a date with a toilet. Okay, obviously that's dramatic. Nicely put, he's slightly awkward looking. I happen to actually enjoy guys that can pull off the awkward look, I personally have no problem saying to my friends "This is ____, isn't he so ugly?! Its almost cute!". Maybe this is because I'm an artist at heart & I can find beauty in (nearly) everything. Maybe it's also because he has a real job, AND a great apartment (don't ask, false pretenses), AND he can dress himself, quite nicely actually.
There is, however, a larger problem. This may or may not have been mentioned in my earlier roundup of 'dates', but this specific suitor has an indescribable kissing technique. Wait, erase that, it's actually describable, yes, it is similar to that game at the arcade where the groundhogs pop up out of the holes & you hit them with a maillot. I was always really good at the actual arcade game, but when it came to beating off his tongue, well no amount of tickets would have had me going back for more. Ofcourse, me, being preoccupied & without plans at the time of the dinner invite, failed to remember this previous problem & I happily agreed to an entire night planned by him.
Im just hoping I can walk away with a big stuffed bear, or at least a candy necklace.