CELEBRATION

As most of you are probably well aware, my best friend (dipshit) is getting married in less than two weeks. While this is a joyous occasion for all involved, this is most certainly not a joyous occasion for M&M. In fact, an entire day was dedicated to back and forth yelling and screaming after I told M&M that I have no place for a baby in my life or in my actual living space. I am not sure why this came as a surprise. After all, I live in a one bedroom conversion apartment; have no health insurance, not to mention a spouse. Furthermore, my roomie’s mother spent an entire day finding space for all of my books.

Of course this argument was not really about a baby, but was about the up and coming affair which clearly M&M have been a little too alerted to post getting an invitation in the mail. The voicemails that were left on my cell before I threw it out the window were as follows:

1. C, in five years from now you will not be so cute. Arguably, you are not so cute now. You should think with the mentality of wanting a baby as to make you more marriageable and/or cute.

2. C, your best friend is getting married and all we have heard of is some of your toned down slutty escapades. You are never getting married and are a spinster.

3. C, your best friend is getting married and will be walked down the aisle in the week and a half; no one is walking you down the aisle aside from a groomsman.

While I am not going to go through the reasons why one and two are a little bit off the mark, WELL AT least one is wrong even if two is right, consider this blog a formal correction to statement three.

Today, I had the happy occasion of getting an email from the groom regarding some typical bridal party affairs. Within this email was a list of the pairings of bridesmaids with groomsmen. I skimmed this over, but upon second glance of this arrangement, I noticed that something was not right. I am going to ask my readership to make a determination as to why M&M's third proposition is entirely wrong based on the pairings:

1. Bridesmaid A 1. Groomsman A
2. Bridesmaid B 2. Groomsman B
3. Bridesmaid C (MOI) 3. Groomsman C (NOT PRESANT)
4. Bridesmaid D 4. Groomsman D