Considered & Declined

I have always been a proponent of immediate gratification. For instance, by the time co-counsel and I have returned from our five minute journey to Hale & Hearty Soups, I have finished my entire free oyster crackers. This need for immediate gratification translates into all areas of my life. Some might call this compulsive behavior, but in my defense, anticipation make me nervous.

This is part of the reason I really like the staffing agency, Glocap. On a daily basis, the agency will drop me an email suggesting that I apply to a paralegal position. I sometimes ignore them, but on days where I am feeling particularly generous and want to share my beautifully revised resume which correctly indicates the year I was admitted to the Bar (for a few days I had made a clerical error and indicated that I was admitted to the Bar in 2009. I was going happily about my business until some other staffing agency inquired if I was back from the future), I apply. Glocap makes it so easy for me to apply to their suggested positions that I sometimes so much as think of hitting the submit button, and Voila, it is done.

It has come to my attention that as easy as it is for me to apply to these suggested positions, it is even easier for Glocap to reject me. In my daily quest for gainful employment, I will go to this all too helpful Glocap website just to see what is cooking. Then, I usually attempt to slit my wrists:


04/02/08: Temporary Legal Hedge Fund Operational Risk Analyst; CONSIDERED AND DECLINED

03/19/08: Junior Compliance Attorney; CONSIDERED AND DECLINED

03/06/08: Literary Department Contract Coordinator; DECLINED BY CLIENT

03/05/08: Associate Vice President(yes I realize this was a stretch); POSITION FILLED

02/21/08: Hedge Fund Attorney; CONSIDERED AND DECLINED

02/21/08: Trading Agreements Negotiator; CONSIDERED AND DECLINED

02/21/08: Contract Analyst; Under active consideration. If you check back tomorrow you will have been CONSIDERRED AND DECLINED.