"I found myself in the supermarket yesterday looking at what people put in their carts. You can tell a lot by what are in those carts, who is impulsive with their shopping, who is methodical. I find Impulsive, attractive and necessary.
~J
...oh, i didn't see floss in anyone's cart =)"
Very cute robot J, thank you for getting back to me after me never responding. It is not you, really, it is me. While times are rough, I prefer not to date an auto mated service. Why not just date my cell phone??? Oh, I would never, it is super ghetto and unsexy and never brings any good news, or, news at all.
Anyhow, the more important email came from Garbage inviting me to some banquet function honoring some professor:
Garbage
cordially invites you to attend our
ANNUAL BANQUET
Honoring
Professor X
Friday, March 20, 2009
7:00 p.m. cocktail hour
8:00 p.m. dinner
Tavern on the Green
Central Park West at 67th Street
New York, NY
Members $70
Alumni/Guests $80
RSVP by March 6, 2009
I feel much the same way I felt after watching Real Housewives of Orange County finale this season. Mainly, dirty. Michael K (Dlisted celebrity blogger, my favorite) took it upon himself to point out the obvious: what business in this economy does Tamra have flaunting around a tennis bracelet worth a college tuition, Vicki flaunting a Rolex she bought for herself and Gretchen screaming about a Harley her dying sugar daddy purchased for her???? While we all realize that this episode was taped before the economy took a major downfall, EDIT IT. Why, even the publishing company I have "worked" at since I came out of the womb canceled their annual holiday party at Tavern On The Green. No, it was not just because they did not have the funding. It was because it was in poor taste.
I realize that guests have to pay for their tickets in order to attend Garbage's affair, but really what business does Garbage have asking its cockroaches to said event? I have spoken to many Garbagites since the economy has fallen apart. Since the big firms are doing lay offs, the document projects Garbigites populate in downtown Manhattan have folded leaving Garbigites to fend for themselves by singing in the subways and dressing up as Elmo outside of Rockefeller Center. Many legitimate attorneys who typically would not be competing for a Garbagish jobs have in fact not so much as competed, as just taken them displacing Garbigites all over Manhattan. Douchebags. Garbigites do not have eighty dollars to spare. Right this moment, I have a Garbigite living like Anne Frank in my closet. When I discovered him this weekend, he told me he thought I would not mind given that we sat next to each other in Torts first year. Fine, fine, this is an exaggeration, but fair.
I thought about it, thought about it, thought about it and realized that not even Garbage could be this tasteless. No, they have conducted some pretty unclassy episodes in my lifetime. One of which was on graduation day. Garbage did not hand out diplomas, they just handed out fake diplomas for show and mailed it to their graduates like seven months. I think I just got mine from 2006. All the cockroaches just sort of came up to the stage in random order and picked up a blank piece of paper. (As a side note, M&M afterward gave me a stuffed yorkie after I asked for a puppy for sitting through three years of misery for them. They explained if I had gotten a husband in law school like they asked me to, I would not need a puppy). This was surely tasteless, but really this invitation is a slap in the face. So, here is my conclusion. This email is from an automated garbage service that sends out an invitation every year for the same exact event. It is this administrator below who sent out the email which is in fact also "J Robot" I mentioned above:
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