Make Pad Thai

I am well aware that I am behind most bloggers in capturing this historic event that took place on the Bachelor last night. To be honest, I was going to leave well enough alone, but I simply can not. What type of blogger is not going to reach out to Melissa today??? For those of you who do not watch this captivating show, let me recap. Last night, bachelor Jason, complete cheese dick, chose and proposed to final contestant Melissa at the close of the series. After the final rose ceremony, filmed six weeks later, Jason ended his engagement with Melissa and confessed his serious feelings for Molly, other final contestant. Molly took him back.

Rumors have it that this was completely scripted by ABC because throughout the entire series it was all too apparent that Jason was in love with Molly and therefore was manipulated into choosing Melissa. He was then, as bound by contract, forced to break up with Melissa on national television six weeks later and send her on her way. AWESOME. Side Note: Quite frankly, Melissa, I believe my entire life is scripted and I am even heavily medicated to control my paranoia. For instance, I believe this job offer was scripted and because I have not gotten my written offer in the mail I am pretty persuaded that on national tv human resources will deliver me the news. Mainly, after careful consideration of a runner up candidate they have in fact chosen that runner up. In fact, I am talking to E right now who has told me that this is absolutely insane and firms just do not rescind verbal offers, but the bloody Bachelor has shaken me to the core. Okay, I can not help it. Further side note, M has told me not to worry as she does not care if I ever work again given that my life is pathetic for so many other reasons. Furthermore, she was never able to work and I am losing perspective of my priorities by putting so much focus on this "job thing." I asked her yesterday if she would be willing to subsidize me sans job/career if I agreed to go on a match.com date twice a week, the answer was yes. Do not be shocked.

BUT I DIGRESS. While I feel terrible for Melissa, I believe this historical event speaks volumes to single women all across the nation. I am not alone in the sentiment that Jason for the most part (even before we learned he was an ass) is the most unappealing bachelor. While he is not a bad looking guy, he definitely harbours that "something queer (not in the homosexual sense)" thing about him. He is cheesy, cries all the bloody time, has a bloody child named Tye who appears to suffer from some mental impairment, and well, is just unsexy. I might not kick him out of bed, but that does not say much. Regardless of his flaws, one thing we could have said about Jason before we knew that he was a horrific person, is that he is the type of guy all women should be dating: non-threatening, earnest, compassionate and sweet. He is the type of guy that every woman is guilty of passing up for the hot retard who speaks broken English but makes you feel sexy because he treats you like gold at four am (Ms. Deeana prevoius bachelorette was certainly guilty of this). No, I do not speak from experience as M has trained me to pick out the Jasons if one is available. Rather, I have a few very unhot creatures who contact me at four AM who I respond to every fourth or fifth time. Regardless, from now on, I am not choosing the Jason if he is available. WHY>?!?!?!?! Because seemingly Jason is a fraud and ladies you might as well just choose the hot retard. If this cheese dick Jason is a nasty shit, then,
we should all give up.

As far as Melissa goes, I believe it is her right at the After The Rose Ceremony, Part Deux to start serving pad thai made out of tye. End of story.