Are We at the Zoo?

After a long talk with M&M this weekend wherein they told me that the real reason that I am single is that I have not been exposed to legitimate prospects, I yelled at them and demanded that they get out of my basement. After the mild temper tantrum I threw, I reflected on my history and decided that it is true, I have mingled only with sub-humans since I was roughly twenty four. Before I was twenty four, I mingled with mostly sub-humans interspersed with some homo sapiens.

As it turns out, I have probably have "dated" (I use this term very loosely as I am not sure what other people consider dating) a quarter of Manhattan degenerates with the hopes that they do not know any better but to date me. It is true that I am in no position to negotiate these prospects given that it is has been roughly a year since I have held down a job. Okay, that is a lie. It has been roughly twenty seven years since I have held down a legitimate job. Perhaps if you do not have a legitimate job, you also do not have legitimate "boyfriends?" I thought about why I have allowed my standards to drop so low and decided it might be a defense mechanism. If I were to come across a legitimate homo sapien, I might find that he has other prospects that are superior to me. However, this theory does not hold up given that not even these homeless people want to date me and pass me up for lesser prospects.

So what gives? I posed the question to E who also has had similar luck on the "dating front" and she simply asked "what makes you think that you deserve to date anything aside from sub-humans?" It is true. She is right and in my free time I am going to the zoo to pick out my next boyfriend.