The More Things Change, They Stay The Same

As some of my readership might be aware, I thought I would use this year to determine a career path. The gig is up. I wasted the entire year. I explained this situation to my therapist. Most of our sessions are focused on what are some of my aspirations. Usually I lie. The last session was no exception, I told her I wanted to be editor in chief of a publication. I definitely do not want that type of responsibility, not as though anyone would bestow me with such a conflict of interest. The only reason I thought of that is because Nico on Lipstick Jungle is editor in chief of a fake publication. What I was really trying to say to my therapist is that I want to be Nico.

Anywho, my therapist came up with a really brilliant idea. She told me that I should take a career test online for free. In our following session we are going to talk about the results. I left feeling pretty awesome about taking an online quiz. After all, most of my days are spent taking online quizzes and unlike in my therapy sessions, I answer these questions accurately.

You can imagine my state of shock when after answering a series of questions in the negative regarding landscaping, building things, supplying things, cleaning things, being outside with things that the results indicated that I should be either a construction worker or a janitor.

I thought about it. And while I am not sure if being an esq. in a reputable firm is anything like being a construction worker or janitor, being an esq. above a dunkin' donuts is very much like being a janitor. Nope, certainly have made no progress this year.

IS THIS BC OF BUSH?

I am so sick and tired of this bloody economy. No for real, I think if there is anyone who has been a victim of this Main Street, Wall Street, Sesame Street nonsense it is me. Last night, over Thanksgiving dinner, when M asked me after telling us her views on religion, if I was aware of how terrible the economy is on account of the amount of shi*ty television I watch. My reply was: "Oh, I am aware, thank you very much M. I have essentially been a temp for a year and a half and before that I was a plumber. I fail to see how me not watching television is going to fix the problem."

Yes certain downturns in the economy have caused me and my loved ones upsets and like the rest of the world I generally blame that lame duck of a president even though we all know that the reason the economy fell apart is because I watch too much television. Regardless, there is one recent "upset" that has made me feel, well, really f*ckin awesome and that is the government bailing out citigroup.

Kids, let me explain. When I was at my previous shithole, my primary responsibility was collecting debt from former employees from citigroup. I am not proud of this. Not in the slightest. I am however well aware of the fact that my debt collection and subsequent release was not all for nothing. As now, I am fairly certain that the government is not going to keep this f*ckin over clogged toilet as part of their advisory, and well with a little prayer and perhaps a flush, we can all say "yes, we can." As perhaps we have cleaned up some pollution.

Now, I am going to take it upon myself to send my condolences. If only Hallmark had a card that has a so "sorry about your loss on the front" and then on the inside a plumber with a big X through it. So here goes nothing.

Dear Stinky,

As a former member of your firm I felt compelled to, well, send my condolences. After three months of persistent debt collection for a bank that probably only retained you because you cost so little, I can imagine that stinky is very upset about this bail out. Fortunately, for me, government bailing out these various companies will engender document review projects. Perhaps I will see you there.

The fact that you "let me go" is all water under the bridge now. I guess in a sense we share that in common.

-C